I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
