im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
