It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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