I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
