oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
