Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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