hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
