I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I want to fling myself into the sun
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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