What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
