Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
