I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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