remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
