I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
