the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
