if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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