i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
