Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
