all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
