There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
