We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
