legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize