how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
