I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he was CRYING into my vagina
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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