I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize