Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
