hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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