hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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