Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
