Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
