she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
