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• (708): View more from Illinois

  We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  Let's do it. All homo

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• (850): View more from Florida

  when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  ravioli

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Her vagina devoured it.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects

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• (253): View more from Washington

  I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!

  (801): View more from Utah

  That's what Skittles are for!

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Try me, you 5'5 gremlin

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