Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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