vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
