My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Pooping to opera.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
