OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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