Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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