your parents love me but you hate me
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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