I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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