My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
