problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
