yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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