I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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