remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
