I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
