put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
