I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
