but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
