What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
