This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
