She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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