so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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