I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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