By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
