You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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