NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
