and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize