So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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