So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
