Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
