You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize