States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
