Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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