I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
