so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
