He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My penis needs a shock collar
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
