my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
