i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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