Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
