You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
