i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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